“I attend courses, read books, listen to CD’s, yet I am still not living the life I want to and am unhappy with the life I have. How can I have the life I want to have?”
This is a surprisingly common dilemma. There are many people out there who could be called “Seminar Junkies”. They go from course to course, book to book, guru to guru desperately seeking answers, yet never finding them.
They watch the people around them have magical transformations in their lives, and feel frustrated and resentful that they are not getting the same results. These people typically continue to attend course after course until eventually they give up and live a life of quiet desperation.
Now, I’m going to share a huge secret with you, though you have to promise not to tell everyone else, because otherwise all these people who make their living from self help seminars and books will get very upset at me for sharing this secret.
The majority of people who attend self-help seminars, read the books, listen to the CD’s are all desperately looking for someone else to change their lives. They refuse to take responsibility for their lives and firmly believe that the only way they can change is if some guru waves their magic wand and blesses them. Then, and only then, will they have permission, and the ability, to change.
Here’s a newsflash.
No guru, no self help book, no seminar, no CD is going to change your life.
The only way you are going to change your life is if you decide to change it.
You can attend the courses, listen to CD’s and read the books, but if you are not willing to take responsibility for what you have in your life and accept your own power and ability to change it, you are never going to get the changes you want.
That’s right. You’ll just stay the same.
People are far too willing in today’s society to give away their personal power and responsibility for their lives. They are always jumping from diet to diet or from health fad to health fad or whatever, hoping that one of them will actually make a difference for them.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
How to get Cooperation
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you never had to "lock horns" with other people? Well, there are some skills that you can learn.
Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.
Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.
So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?
Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it.
"What does the second approach convey to your partner?
# 1 - You are really busy right now,
# 2 - You would really appreciate your partner making that cup of tea for you,
# 3 - You have shown concern for your partner's time.
Conversely, what does the first approach convey?
# 1 - You are rude
# 2 - You are arrogant
# 3 - You are lazy
It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.Look at your language. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body language do you use?
The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter. Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders.
How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.
Try this. Ask somebody to raise both arms so that they can touch the palms of their hands against yours. Don't worry about explaining anything to them. Tell them it is an experiment if you like.
Now you are facing the other person, you both have your arms raised and are "palm to palm." Start pushing. What happens? What does the other person do? Do it. The outcome is 100% predictable.
So, why, when you are seeking co-operation with another person should you be confronting to them? It doesn't make sense when you see it in this light, does it? What is your 100% predictable response when somebody starts forcing his or her wishes onto you?
Let's use an example. Do you say to your partner: "I want a cup of tea!"? Or, would it be better to say something like: "Darling, I'm really busy at the moment. I'd really like a cup of tea if you have the time to make it.
"What does the second approach convey to your partner?
# 1 - You are really busy right now,
# 2 - You would really appreciate your partner making that cup of tea for you,
# 3 - You have shown concern for your partner's time.
Conversely, what does the first approach convey?
# 1 - You are rude
# 2 - You are arrogant
# 3 - You are lazy
It is far easier to attract bees to pollen than it is to gasoline.Look at your language. When you desire somebody to do something for you do you sound like a military commander? What sort of body language do you use?
The easiest way to get co-operation from other people is to place yourself in their position. How would you like to be approached? How do you react to "orders?"People are reluctant to respond favorably to orders, unless, of course, they are in the armed forces. But that is a different matter. Governments, banks, insurance companies, lawyers, courts, politicians and employers all issue orders.
How do most people react? They become defensive, unco-operative, resentful and at times, hostile.Can you now see the awesome power of getting other people to co-operate with you with a willing heart? Might you now make a concentrated effort to couch your requests in terms that they find palatable?Yes, this is an art. But like all arts, the more you practice it the more skillful you will become. Try it. You will be amazed at how co-operative people will become.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Ever Wondered Why Everyone Except You Is Moving On?
“I attend courses, read books, listen to CD’s, yet I am still not living the life I want to and am unhappy with the life I have. How can I have the life I want to have?”This is a surprisingly common dilemma.
There are many people out there who could be called “Seminar Junkies”. They go from course to course, book to book, guru to guru desperately seeking answers, yet never finding them.They watch the people around them have magical transformations in their lives, and feel frustrated and resentful that they are not getting the same results. These people typically continue to attend course after course until eventually they give up and live a life of quiet desperation.
Now, I’m going to share a huge secret with you, though you have to promise not to tell everyone else, because otherwise all these people who make their living from self help seminars and books will get very upset at me for sharing this secret.The majority of people who attend self-help seminars, read the books, listen to the CD’s are all desperately looking for someone else to change their lives. They refuse to take responsibility for their lives and firmly believe that the only way they can change is if some guru waves their magic wand and blesses them. Then, and only then, will they have permission, and the ability, to change.
Here’s a newsflash. No guru, no self help book, no seminar, no CD is going to change your life. The only way you are going to change your life is if you decide to change it. You can attend the courses, listen to CD’s and read the books, but if you are not willing to take responsibility for what you have in your life and accept your own power and ability to change it, you are never going to get the changes you want. That’s right. You’ll just stay the same. People are far too willing in today’s society to give away their personal power and responsibility for their lives. They are always jumping from diet to diet or from health fad to health fad or whatever, hoping that one of them will actually make a difference for them.
If you want to change your life you need to follow these 5 steps:
1. Make a decision right now that you are going to change your life. There are many different ways to do this, and I teach a number of motivational techniques on my courses and in my workbooks you can use to help you make this decision.
2. Take responsibility for everything that is in your life, no matter how good or bad. You created and accepted it into your life, and as such, you can change it.
3. Decide what you do want in your life, what you are going to accept and what you are not going to accept. If you don’t know what you want, look at what you don’t want, and the opposite of that is what you want. Decide on who and what you want to be.
4. Create an action plan for change. Create a plan for how you are going to make these changes.
5. And the most important step of all, DO IT. That’s right, do it and make the changes.
This is the step that separates the achievers and successful people from the dreamers living a life of mediocrity.If you have been attending all these seminars, reading these books and you still haven’t managed to change your life, then look inside yourself and ask this question.“Am I taking responsibility for changing my life?”If the answer is no, then take responsibility and start changing your life today. Whether you work with someone else, or you work with me, take responsibility and use the knowledge of the “guru’s” and the courses and the books and implement them into your life and create the life of your dreams; the life you deserve.
You can wait for an eternity for someone else to make the changes for you, and it’ll never happen. YOU just have to DO it yourself. Stop putting things off now, because the more you put things off the more painful and difficult it will get.P.S. If you are reading this and saying “I tried” or “I can’t” or something similar then you absolutely need to re-read this article right now two or three times and implement it into your life. It is time to stop trying and start doing.
There are many people out there who could be called “Seminar Junkies”. They go from course to course, book to book, guru to guru desperately seeking answers, yet never finding them.They watch the people around them have magical transformations in their lives, and feel frustrated and resentful that they are not getting the same results. These people typically continue to attend course after course until eventually they give up and live a life of quiet desperation.
Now, I’m going to share a huge secret with you, though you have to promise not to tell everyone else, because otherwise all these people who make their living from self help seminars and books will get very upset at me for sharing this secret.The majority of people who attend self-help seminars, read the books, listen to the CD’s are all desperately looking for someone else to change their lives. They refuse to take responsibility for their lives and firmly believe that the only way they can change is if some guru waves their magic wand and blesses them. Then, and only then, will they have permission, and the ability, to change.
Here’s a newsflash. No guru, no self help book, no seminar, no CD is going to change your life. The only way you are going to change your life is if you decide to change it. You can attend the courses, listen to CD’s and read the books, but if you are not willing to take responsibility for what you have in your life and accept your own power and ability to change it, you are never going to get the changes you want. That’s right. You’ll just stay the same. People are far too willing in today’s society to give away their personal power and responsibility for their lives. They are always jumping from diet to diet or from health fad to health fad or whatever, hoping that one of them will actually make a difference for them.
If you want to change your life you need to follow these 5 steps:
1. Make a decision right now that you are going to change your life. There are many different ways to do this, and I teach a number of motivational techniques on my courses and in my workbooks you can use to help you make this decision.
2. Take responsibility for everything that is in your life, no matter how good or bad. You created and accepted it into your life, and as such, you can change it.
3. Decide what you do want in your life, what you are going to accept and what you are not going to accept. If you don’t know what you want, look at what you don’t want, and the opposite of that is what you want. Decide on who and what you want to be.
4. Create an action plan for change. Create a plan for how you are going to make these changes.
5. And the most important step of all, DO IT. That’s right, do it and make the changes.
This is the step that separates the achievers and successful people from the dreamers living a life of mediocrity.If you have been attending all these seminars, reading these books and you still haven’t managed to change your life, then look inside yourself and ask this question.“Am I taking responsibility for changing my life?”If the answer is no, then take responsibility and start changing your life today. Whether you work with someone else, or you work with me, take responsibility and use the knowledge of the “guru’s” and the courses and the books and implement them into your life and create the life of your dreams; the life you deserve.
You can wait for an eternity for someone else to make the changes for you, and it’ll never happen. YOU just have to DO it yourself. Stop putting things off now, because the more you put things off the more painful and difficult it will get.P.S. If you are reading this and saying “I tried” or “I can’t” or something similar then you absolutely need to re-read this article right now two or three times and implement it into your life. It is time to stop trying and start doing.
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